Quick One

Can I just say...I'm really tired of defining myself as widowed!  That's all.

Am I in Drive?

I'm well over the 3 year mark now and I still wonder if I've got myself in Drive or Neutral.  It's been slow going, I will admit.  When I look back, I'm sure that I've moved forward a lot...miles and miles forward.  But, I sometimes get stuck...like I put myself in Neutral and can't figure out how to get myself to move.  There is still so much I want for myself, and yet...he's not here.  So, I wonder if it's worth it to want more.  And of course it is!  

Lately these days, I find myself making lists.  Not of things to do or buy, but things that I love or want for myself.  Then, I tell myself that I'll start working on this stuff.  And I don't.  Because...well...he's not here.  

And yet, things are still working out.  Every time I make a small change, it causes a ripple.  Leaving a job that no longer served me allowed me to work more in a job that makes me feel like I'm "on purpose".  And that job opened up to additional responsibilities with more money.  Every little positive change keeps me moving forward.  Little steps.  Little changes.  Miles and Miles forward over time.  

Letting Go

It's said that we are at the end of an eclipse season here on earth.  It has been of time of letting go to allow the new to enter.  I sure have been letting go of pieces of my life lately.  And I really hope the new stuff will be spectacular.

In the last 2 months, I quit the financial services job, sold my camper and let go of camp, mom moved back to my sister's, and my son and his family moved out.  It's been a wild and crazy ride, but I'm ready for whatever comes next.  I'm just hoping it's going to be a mix of fun, laughter, serenity and peace.

Wow! I must be busy!

Six months since my last post.  Geez, time flies when you're having fun.

I have been on a quest to "find myself".  I think I'm doing pretty well.  I have been journaling a lot, taking courses for certification in the natural health fields, eating for health (and lost almost 10 pounds in the process), and quit the job in financial services (in spite of it being the better paycheck).  Mom will be moving back to my sisters (she comes and goes like the wind), and I'm still looking for God.

At some point, I'll get around to making some changes with this blog, but for now, I like short and sweet.