Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Finances, Insurance Money, Stuff, and Family

I find myself in amazement when I read some of the stuff that widows (and some widowers) go through with friends and family after a spouse dies. People come swooping in making the widowed feel guilty...for them! They want stuff that belonged to the dead or they think the insurance money is some kind of windfall that should be shared. Most of the widowed are not ready to part with anything...shock and denial make it almost impossible to even think straight.

Here's the thing. It's no longer "his"'s default. No one has the right to take anything unless it was on loan to the person who died. And about that insurance money...he/she is dead and gone...and so is the financial support for your household. That means whatever insurance money you receive is not up for grabs. You will need it to cover current and future expenses. I don't care how much you care about them or trust them. If they can't get a loan from a bank for the trouble they're in, they are a credit risk to you too. If they don't pay it back, you will become resentful...and if you need the money are screwed.

Believe me....been there, done that. It ain't pretty.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Father's Day...Here we go again.

Father's Day used to stress me out. I never knew what to get my dad...never knew what to get Mike either. They were guys who would just prefer to get whatever they wanted when they wanted it. So, for Mike, I always stuck with the staples...meaning he had more socks and underwear than I cared to wash.

So, now what? This will be my second Father's Day without Mike. It's bothering me...a lot. Maybe these "special" days will always be like this.

I'm thinking Sunday will be a good day for sun, pool, and beer. Not in that order.

Sunday, June 12, 2011


I wonder...if not for my kids and friends...well, I guess I won't even think about it.

I am fortunate. Now 55 years old...and I have the best support group possible. My daughter saw me smiling the other day and asked me why I had that smirk on my face. I told her it's because of how old I am and who my friends are. She, by the way, is one of them. We are quite a diverse group and age has no meaning. Me...the oldest and Kim...the baby at 26.

Here's what I know for sure...we will be there for each other. Always.

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Shape of Evil

I can remember a Spongebob show where the shape of evil was discussed as square. It's not. In my opinion, the shape of evil is formed as a dark funnel.

Last Wednesday, tornadoes touched down in Massachusetts, ravaging community after community...the poor, the middle class, the well-to-do. Within days, pictures started to appear on the internet showing some of the devastation. They do not show the real picture. Granted, we are nowhere near as bad off as those who lived in Joplin MO. The damage there was more like annihilation.

On Saturday afternoon, a few of us went to volunteer in one of the communities of Springfield. At first, I was wondering what we were doing there...a few windows knocked out, shingles missing...until we got further into the community. I can't even begin to describe what we saw...except the remnant of evil.