Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Am I happy yet?

A few weeks ago, I started taking my version of depression meds...Sam-e.  I wasn't sure those little tinfoil wrapped, enteric coated tablets would do much, but I'm pretty sure they are doing the job.

I'm just days away from the 3 year Thanksgiving anniversary of Mike's death.  And I'm ok.  In fact, I really am grateful these days:

  • For my kids who put off their own grief so they could (in my mind) wrap me in bubble wrap so I wouldn't hurt myself in MY grief.  They never left my side.  They cried with me, hugged me when I collapsed on the floor, and let me cry/scream/bitch whenever the mood struck (which...well you get it).
  • For our friends.  Some were with me within minutes of my phone call.  Some came later, and stayed with me for days and some for weeks.
  • For my dogs (who get me out of the house whether I like it or not).
  • For my adorable grandkids.  No explanation required.
  • For Facebook (yup, I mean it).
  • For Wine!  Hey.  Whatever works.
There's so much more, and my list could go on and on.  But, I'll spare you.  :)

Friday, November 2, 2012

New York City Marathon

I know this is not a running blog, but I was supposed to be going to New York City tomorrow...and now I'm not.   My youngest daughter, Kim, was going to run.  She trained hard.  Really Really Hard.  And she was ready.  Then Hurricane Sandy hit.

Kim debated for most of the week.  She hoped it would be called off.  But, as of this morning, it was still a go.  So, she made the decision to pull out.  She realized that she was not going to be proud to say she raced.   Not this year.  I was pretty proud of her for making that decision.  It couldn't have been easy.  Then, Mayor Bloomberg made the decision to cancel the race altogether.  Thankfully.

Mayor Bloomberg may have thought the race would be a good thing for the City.  He cited the fact that the race still went on after the September 11, 2001 attack.  But, on that day, we had a common enemy...one who was directly responsible for the devastation.  We could all galvanize behind that.  We could show them that they couldn't win.  Not only would New York bounce back but so would America.  We would prove it!  This time, there is no enemy.  There is no one to blame and nothing to prove.

One thing I know from loss is that you look for someone or something to blame.  If the marathon had gone on, it (and the runners) could have been blamed for hindering the recovery.  And that would have damned the NYC Marathon for years to come.