Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Two Year Mark

Today...November 26...the official two year mark.

I had another dream about him last night.  Well, it was actually a dream about getting audited by the IRS and he showed up to offer support after the stress landed me in the hospital. 

So, for now, it's too early to know how I feel.  I'm kind of afraid to get out of bed this morning for fear of feeling sad, and afraid to stay in bed for fear of dreaming about how the audit turned out.  Good grief.  

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanksgiving in Year 2

Here we go again.  Another year almost complete.  This year, I'm a little sad.  Mostly grateful.  When I look back from here, I can't believe how completely and totally my life has changed.  From here, it looks like the big explosion that sent me reeling.  But, from the very beginning, I was surrounded by my family and friends.  I can never thank them enough.  Some were there within minutes, some were there within hours.  And then, there are the friends who came along much later.  They are the ones who made me realize that it's ok to laugh and to keep living.

This week, 2 families I know will be having funerals on the day before Thanksgiving.  Their lives forever changed.   I want them to know that someday...maybe 2 years from now...they will be ok.

Monday, November 14, 2011


I sometimes wonder if they are the window to the other world.  Every once in awhile, I dream of him.  When I do, he's a little he knows I'm sad.  Then he shows the "goofy" my last dream, he wanted to go say hi to people he knew...knowing he would scare the hell out of them.  I wonder why he doesn't visit me more often.  Is he busy over there?  Is there some kind of a 2-year life review going on?   If there is, then what?  Does he graduate? 

I hope, in some future dream, he lets me know that he's truly happy.  Without me.  I'd be ok with that.