Mom and Food

I am a nutcase about "real" food. As a matter of fact, I want "real" in every part of my life. Since Mike died, it's almost a fanatical thing for me. I even make my own bath products. If I can't eat it, I don't want to use it on my body. The same with my household products. There's nothing wrong with baking soda and vinegar for cleaning most things and olive oil works great for dusting.

When I go to the grocery store, I read labels on things. My bread is organic and has a list of about 7 ingredients. I bake organic brownies and make my own hot fudge sauce with organic chocolate.

So...imagine my delight when mom went to the grocery store with Catie and came back with Mrs. Freshley's Swiss Rolls!

Well, it must be good...it's Mrs. Freshley's. The back of the box states "Moist, wholesome and delicious...the finest high quality snack foods available to you and your family." right. There is no "real food" in this stuff. High Quality my ass.

If you're ever wondering about whether or not something is good for you...read the label. This one goes on forever and there isn't very much I can pronounce (which is never a good thing).
My "all natural" home is slowly losing that status. Ok...it's not so slow. We now have all kinds of unnatural stuff lurking around here. The grandkids come over and think it's a free-for-all while I'm trying to push apples and pears.

Well Here We Are

It's November already. This past year sure did go by rather quickly....well, except for maybe the first 4 or 5 months. We made it past the October 30 anniversary of Mary's accident...and had a great time. We (me and my kids) took a trip to South Carolina for that weekend. My nephew got married, so what better reason to vacation?

Mom moved out, then moved back in last week. I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with making sure she's with me and my family during the anniversary of Mike's death. I hope Thanksgiving won't be too brutal.

October

Guess it's been awhile. I think I'm ok.

We'll be closing camp this weekend. I've decided not to make any decisions about the place until I give it one more year. I can't believe I pay that much money to stay there and be that depressed. Being at camp makes his loss so real. So, I will go up there today to say goodbye to friends and my boys will close it up tomorrow. Another first.

It's getting close to the one-year anniversaries...Mary's car accident and Mike's death. I used to love fall. Not so much now.

36 Years Ago Today

I think I was up at 4 a.m. on that day too...the day we said "til death do us part." Guess we took those vows pretty seriously. Actually....most people said they wouldn't give us 5 years. He was a bad boy and I spent most of the first 10 years straightening his ass out. Wish we'd had a few more years together. I really liked the man he became.

So, today I'm going to camp with the kids. We'll sit by the pool, order take-out, and drink wine.

Shopping Fever

What is it about widowhood that makes me want to purge...out with the old, in with the new.

This week I bought new bedroom furniture, a new box spring and mattress, a few new clothes...and a car! Seriously. I'm cancelling the car. This is getting ridiculous.

It's like I'm trying to make up for something...like my old life is over, so I may as well have a shiny new one. At this rate, I'll be broke before the end of the month. This month...the one that ends tomorrow.

Best Friends Forever

Sometimes I am absolutely astonished. The day before yesterday was one of those days.

After work, I noticed that I had a voicemail. The message says, "Hey, it's just me. Haven't heard from you in awhile. I thought we were best friends forever. Give me a call when you get a minute."

hmm. Now that's interesting. I got a card from her after Mike died with a pretty generous donation. Her husband showed up at my house about a week later to give his condolences. Then nothing. Amost 8 months. Nada. Best friends forever.

Fortunately for me, I really do have best friends forever. Two of them are my girls. The rest watch over me like hawks. They moved furniture to the 3rd floor when Mary and the kids were coming home. They helped me paint. They took me out to dinner. They paid for the lunch after the service.

I didn't call her back.

The new job

So far, so good. It's a part-time job and although it's still in the financial industry, I don't think it's going to be as stressful as the last one. In this position, I can actually talk to the clients without worrying about recorded lines, QA, accurate timeframes, average handle time, scheduled breaks, or what my hair looks like after wearing a headset most of the day.

It was a little difficult getting up on Monday knowing I had to go to work, but most of the difficulty was due to recovery from the week-long party we had at camp.

It will be good to have some structure and normalcy.