I finally did it...stayed overnight at camp. Of course, I wasn't about to do that all by myself...so my son Jason and his family stayed with me. It was odd. I spent most of the time choking down the tears and expected to see Mike everytime I turned a corner. This makes it real. He's gone and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why. The people who camp there on a regular basis were so nice. Did that make it better? I don't know. Nothing makes it better I guess.
I brought Mike's ashes up there with me. Not sure why...only that he loved it there. I will need to make a decision on what to do with those ashes at some point. For now, he can stay there...in the place that he loved.
I'm tired...and feel totally disengaged from life.