Last Sunday, Kim and I went out to lunch with the new widow I mentioned in an earlier blog and her son. We drove 1.25 miles each way. After our lunch, she seemed calmer...and had decided to put her own needs first instead of worrying about her late husband's family. I feel like we scored on that one.
Anyways, I called her again this week to check on her. Her pain is palpable. I can feel it in her voice. Her son is wonderful to her, and yet I can't help thinking about how much better I have it. I can't even believe I said that.
My kids did not leave me for a minute. When I came home from work and thew myself across the bed to cry, my son came in the room and hugged me. When I was having a bad day, my daughters Meg and Kim would take me out on a "pointless cruise." When I felt totally overwhelmed from Mike's death and caretaking for Mary's family, I moved in with Kim and left Meg to tend to the caretaking of her sister. Dan and Jason both went out to Oregon to get Mary and her kids. I didn't have to lift a finger.
I can't imagine going through that without my kids. The "new widow" also has a son, but there's only so much one person can do. She worries about the holidays because now it's just the two of them. I sure don't have to worry about that....and my kids don't know it yet....but I invited them to spend the holidays with us.