Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Is it Widow?

One of my friends on Facebook changed her status yesterday from Widow to....Single. She has been widowed for 3 years now and has been in counseling for quite some time. At first, I was like....what the hell?! Then my brain really got to working...and I gotta tell ya, there's a lot of guilt in this kind of thinking.

To me, the word Widow brings up images of darkness...mourning, sad, lonely, lonesome, stoic, careful, sexless (ugh). The word Single brings up much lighter images...carefree, happy, friendly, sexy (yes!). When I think of Widow, I think of Jackie Kennedy at her husband's grave, her veil covered head, her doe-like eyes puffy from crying....sad, sad, sad.

When I think of Single...well, I must say, I have no role models. I've been married too long.

I doubt that I'll ever consider myself Single. I like playing the Widow card way too much for that. After this blizzard that ripped up the coast, I cleaned off my car and drove to work. On the way there, I was afraid the guy behind me thought I was driving too slow. I was thinking, "hey buddy, give me a little credit for even going to work on this miserable day. I'm a widow after all." If I were considering myself Single, my thought pattern might have been, "pfft." I don't know if that's really true, but I think it is.

Maybe I just need to re-define Widow. Let's see. How about...class, fun, compassion, passionate, loving, and (a word that was used to describe my aunt)....Spectacular! God, I love that word. So, I'm signing off now. Love, The Spectacular Widow!

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