Monday, February 15, 2010


Yesterday was harder than I thought it would be. I'm so glad it's over.

I ended up staying up until way after my usual bedtime hours surfing the internet. I found a pretty good website for widows and widowers: I was reading all of these discussions on their website and crying...for them, and for me.

I don't much like this new life I've been forced into. I miss Mike every day. I wonder if HE's ok. He was afraid of death. He would never have chosen to leave me so soon. One thing I know for sure is that he loved me, and I'm so grateful that I had that for so long.

My emotions are still so raw...there will be so many things to face in the next year. The tears are ready to flow at any given moment. Yet, when I think back to those first days, I wonder how I didn't die with him. How can anyone go through that kind of pain and live?

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