Friday, February 26, 2010

Three Months

I can't believe it's been 3 months. Feels like yesterday. Feels like a hundred years. At least the pain isn't constant anymore. It just comes in little waves of extreme sadness.

..and forward I go.

The boys are still working on the condo. The carpeting for the bedrooms has been ordered, and will hopefully be installed before the tenant moves in. Lucky for me, the tenant is relocating from another state and won't be here until the around the 3rd. Then, we start working on my house.

I asked my mom to move in. I sure hope that was the right thing to do. Mike used to visit her every day after work. It was the only thing she looked forward to. She hates living there now...and I hate visiting her there. Mike was the maintenance supervisor of the building and everytime I go there to visit my mom, I feel like my heart is being squeezed. I hope she'll be happier with me. I hate to think of her last years here on earth being sad and lonely ones. I also hate the idea of her smoking in my house...she's like a chimney. I asked her not to and she said she wouldn't, but truly...I know her. This is a woman who would sneak smokes in her bedroom when my dad was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I should probably not project into the future when daily life is still such a struggle. I love my mom.

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