I stopped in to the grocery store for a quick purchase yesterday afternoon and ended up spending an hour. While I was deciding which milk to purchase, a woman that Mike and I knew from years ago stopped to chat. Ten years ago, her husband passed away...he was only 52. It's hard to believe that so much time has gone by. I remember when it happened...how I avoided the whole thing.
What I have learned is that you remember the people who were there...and the people who weren't.
I was surprised that, during our conversation, I was able to keep from crying. A week ago, I couldn't have done it. I asked her about how to go about certain things when it comes to maintaining a home and finances. What surprised me is that, even after 10 years, she still hasn't cleaned out his closet or removed his name from some financial stuff. Her reasons are her own, but it made me breathe a little easier. I don't have to rush this process. I don't think I want to wait 10 years, but the little pile of Mike's things in the corner of my room can stay there for awhile.
I'm still having bad days, but the better days are happening too. I still live for little flashes of light...those times when you actually find yourself enjoying something. If you get enough of them during the course of a day, your little world starts to get brighter. Meeting that woman in the middle of the grocery store was a little flash of light.